2025 News Flash: No Antibiotics for the Promiscuous.
Daily Planet October 7th 2015
Back-bencher Quentin Parkington was pleased his Private Member’s Bill to make people pay for treatment for ‘self-inflicted’ injury was to get a second reading.
He told the Daily Planet: “Those of us who uphold Family Values are fed up with paying for the promiscuity of hundreds of thousands of, let’s be honest men, who will not wear condoms, but will demand sex – and with anyone. It’s a game they call ‘HIV Roulette’.”
Though he can count on support from all religious organisations, indeed the Archbishop of Canterbury has come out loudly in support, he expects all right minded tax payers to be behind him, too.
He concluded “ No more Mr. Nice Guy. I have to pay for my Polo, so they can jolly well pay for their game too!”
Sunday Planet November 20th 2025.
S1N1 strain of Chlamydia resistant to all antibiotics.
Junior Health Minister Quentin Parkington met with business leaders to discuss the economic implications. The mass sterility caused by the so called ‘Sleeping Strain’ of the Sexually Transmitted Infection, will reduce the world population dramatically, effectively ending all potential for growth in the economy.
He told the meeting that in bringing forward his Bill ten years ago, he had wanted to warn people of the true cost of ‘Promiscuity’. It was a shame Parliament took no notice and threw it out.
The opposition called this ‘peevish scare-mongering’. We would not become a Big Brother state telling people how to conduct their private lives.